If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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