Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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