I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
