Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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