you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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