Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
