Joe is yelling at the trees again.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
