I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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