Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
