You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
