I'm jealous of your bromance
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize