biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
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