He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize