i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
