Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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