Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
