you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
