Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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