did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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