i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
