So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
