I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
