woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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