Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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