Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Randomize