How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
