Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
