This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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