May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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