I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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