Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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