to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Boobs speak an international language.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
