He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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