is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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