i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
