don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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