i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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