vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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