I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
