Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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