i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
