I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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