In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
