I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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