Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
