eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
