Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
