I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
