I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
time to smoke my breakfast
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
