Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
