my vag is so smooth its legendary
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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