I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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