I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
