your room smells of hookers.
And success
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
