As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize