looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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