Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
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She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
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My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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