Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
