Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
