make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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