yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
