as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
