It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Well I just put wine in my tea
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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