the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
