somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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