Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
