I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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